"It wasn’t until then that I realized my 'grandmother' wasn’t my real grandmother."

Interviewer: Hello. Thank you for accepting my interview. First, could you please tell me when you were born—was it the 1940s, the 1950s, or the 1960s?

1950s.

Interviewer: What was your geographical location in China from 1966 to 1976?

Beijing.

Interviewer: Having been born in the 1950s, you must have a lot of memories of those 10 years. You would’ve already been around 10 years old [when the Cultural Revolution started].

So, there must be many memories. However, if I limit you to about 10 minutes, or in other words, with no preparation,

could you tell us about your most distinct memories, or the things you’d most like to share with us? Thank you.

The most distinct memory is that at that time we didn’t go to class; we just played.

Then, everyone was making revolution; we kids didn’t really understand it, just went along to struggle against other people.

I remember the “uncle” [who lived] upstairs from us. After he was struggled against at the political party school and came back home,

little kids would run along after this “uncle” shouting “rank traitor, rank traitor!” Kids didn't understand things, didn't get it.

Then, this “uncle” quietly told me, “They got it all wrong; they got it all wrong.” My memory of this sentence is really deep.

Although at that time I didn’t understand anything, I remembered this sentence.

Another thing [I remember] is that when the Cultural Revolution started, I was in the third grade of elementary school, and “suspend classes to make revolution” began.

At the time I was a boarding student at Yucai School.

Interviewer: Yucai School was an elite school of the time.

Right, the children of cadres went to that school. One night when it was time for bed, we third grade students and the fourth grade students got into a fight.

The fourth graders hit us third graders, really beat us, smacked our mouths with shoes, and things like that. The teacher was there, but didn’t dare intervene.

At that time, the Cultural Revolution had already started, so institutions were already being broken down.

The teacher stood off to one side, not daring to put a stop to it. My memory of that time is so deep. Why? It’s because a single sentence of mine set off this conflict.

Thinking of it today, I still feel guilty. And then…we’re not yet up to [10 minutes], right?

Interviewer: Please continue; disregard the time.

What else…Oh, during "suspending classes to make revolution," I played the whole time.

At that time, [we] played really happily. Every month, we went to school once to get the grain coupon. [Otherwise, we] spent the whole day playing.

Later, I transferred to [Zhan Lan Guan Road First Elementary School]. I really could not get used to going to school, spent the whole day [arguing] with the teacher.

At the time, I was a bad student. I remember when I started junior high, my teacher’s evaluation was “This student is difficult to teach.”

I don’t have other memories, just that I was always tagging along behind my older brother and sister. Oh, there is another deep impression.

At that time, there were no rules. I’d go swimming with my older brother and sister. The roads passed through farmers’ vegetable plots.

Along the road, we’d pick cucumbers, tomatoes, and eggplants. Every day, we’d go to a canal to swim. On the way back, we’d swipe these things in passing, just for fun, and eat them.

Other [memories]…there’s none I need to talk about.

Interviewer: How about your family [situation]?

My family? Actually, if I’m to talk about deep impressions…My father was [a member of the] “black gang.” At the time [he was] a target of dictatorship.

Interviewer: He was also an intellectual, right?

Yes. A deep impression is that one time, when he returned from being struggled against, some people beat him.

His buttocks were black and blue; his waist was…My mom took him to see a doctor, who gave him a lot of medicine.

But my mom wasn’t [living at] home at that time, [so] every evening I helped my dad apply the Chinese medicine.

At the time, kids didn’t really understand [the situation], and also didn’t know right and wrong. Looking at it now, of course it was wrong.

But at the time [everyone] had to be activist, revolutionary, so at the time no one dared to say [it was wrong].

[I] felt a little like, oh, maybe my father should be struggled against.

Interviewer: Did you sympathize with your dad at all?

Of course. He was really miserable and in pain. He had been kicked.

Since kids at that time didn’t understand things, sometimes [we] caused our father trouble, too.

I deeply remember one time, we were cleaning house and burning some old papers in the hallway.

Just then, the rebel faction of the work unit showed up at our building. [They] asked us whose children we were. We said we were so-and-so’s [kids].

“What are you burning?" they asked. "Are you burning evidence of [your father’s] plans to overthrow the government?” In an instant, another charge was added to the accusations against my father.

The next day, when we went to the cafeteria to eat, I saw my father leaning over the water tank next to the cafeteria. Everyone was struggling against him.

Interviewer: It was because you [children] had been burning things?

Right. It was said [he’d] directed his [children] to burn evidence of his plans to overthrow the government, those related materials.

Anyway, I remembered the implication was that we were burning the plans for him to overthrow the government.

Interviewer: You feel that you [and your siblings’] behavior caused your dad to be struggled against again, to suffer physical pain?

Right.

I thought of something else. When the Cultural Revolution started, [there was] Destroy the Four Olds.

All things [related to] so-called “feudalism, capitalism, revisionism” were destroyed. No one’s family could hire household help or nannies.

At the time, there were five kids in our family. My parents both worked.

[An elderly woman I called my grandmother] helped with the housekeeping and taking care of the kids.

Suddenly one day, my mom said, “Grandma has to leave.” I asked why. My mom said having a nanny was no longer allowed.

It wasn’t until then that I realized my “grandmother” wasn’t my real grandmother. I didn’t [know] she was our family’s nanny, since our relationship was really close.

At that time, “grandma” was forced to leave. But after leaving our house, she had no resources, and no one could hire her; she had no way to make a living.

I remember she'd make hemp thread and rope for people. I remember that generally every month, my mom would have us take grain tickets or a little money to “grandma.”

She spun thread to make a living for herself.

Interviewer: Saying that you absolutely did not know she wasn’t your natural grandmother shows that she had been with your family for a long time, right?

Right, she had stayed with our family a long time. From the time we were small, we all slept in the same bed with her.

Important parts of life centered around this “grandma.” I remember her cooking; her savory pancakes were incredibly tasty.

Up until today, as soon as you mention her savory pancakes to our family, everyone says how good they were, especially my older brother.

He really liked eating the pancakes she made. She was the same as family to us.

What’s more, my parents treated her just as they would treat family, so we absolutely didn’t know she was a nanny. All along, we believed she was a member of the family.

Interviewer: If not for the Cultural Revolution, she might have always [lived] with your family.

Right.

Interviewer: So, these are the things [you] immediately thought of when I asked about the Cultural Revolution.

Yes.

Interviewer: Thank you for accepting my interview.