"She was just acting on her human conscience. I was really moved."

Interviewer: Hello! Thank you for accepting our interview. Would you please tell us when you were born —1950’s, 1960’s…?

1950’s, 1952.

Interviewer: From 1966 to 1976, what area of China did you stay in?

Southeast, East China.

Interviewer: Because of the generation in which you were born, if I ask you to talk about memories of the Cultural Revolution,

Interviewer: ...even if you had several days and nights, you may not have time to say it all.

Interviewer: If I only give you ten minutes, what do you most want to share with us in the first ten minutes? Go ahead and say whatever you like.

There has always been one thing that really touched me. Because of obstacles in expressing it, I’ve never written it down.

In the '70s I was in the countryside joining a production team.

An administrator of the county Educated Youths office called me to the office. I wondered what was going on.

I rushed over there, thinking it was something good. She very seriously asked me to sit down, and said,

“Your parents’ work unit has sent something over.”

She said, “Not long ago, we received a letter from your parents’ work unit regarding your Educated Youths profile.

...It is totally different from this one. It looks like the two letters were written by the same person.

...We don’t know why that happened. We did not request the second one; they sent it on their own initiative. We do not accept it.”

Here’s what happened. My parents committed suicide at the end of August 1966, because they were struggled against by the university they worked for.

They were one of two couples from that university who tried committing suicide. The other couple was rescued, but my parents were not.

Interviewer: Your parents together?

Together, on the same day, August 28, in the evening. Then, my grandmother kept me and my younger brother; she was 66 years old at that time.

In 1968, I went to the countryside to join a production team. As for my younger brother, he stayed in town to work.

Then, in the 70's, my younger brother, working in the factory, wanted to go to July 21 University, wanted to join the Communist Youth League.

However, people said, your parents’ case has not yet been concluded [so it was not possible]. Being so young, he was naive in thinking over problems.

Probably because he received no response from the university, he could not wait, so he wrote a letter to the State Council Leading Group on Education Revolution.

Fairly speaking, the reply to that letter really let my brother rejoice.

The letter said, no problem, we will ask your parents’ work unit to conclude their case as soon as possible.

I did not bring the letter with me; otherwise, it would offer real proof.

This letter must have been forwarded by the State Council Leading Group on Education to the university where my parents had worked.

In order to fulfill the request, the university made a hasty conclusion about my parents’ case.

I did not prepare for your interview; otherwise, I would have brought it in.

They wrote, “These two people…blah blah blah” – the whole thing was just “elevating minor faults to the level of principle violation.”

They made ten copies, and sent them to my uncle, to…

Interviewer: All the relatives?

Yes, and of course they sent it to my brother’s work unit, too.

My brother was shocked—appealing was worse than not appealing. Everyone knew about it.

That administrator in our Educated Youths office was around 40 years old at that time; now she’s more than 80.

She said the letter sent per her request [the first letter] read, “The father of the Educated Youths committed suicide due to his lack of understanding of the Cultural Revolution...

...When employing this youth, please treat him equally with the others.”

Fairly speaking, under the circumstances, to have this written about you was not bad at all.

One or two months later came the second letter, which read,

“This couple had a series of reactionary words and deeds about the [Chinese Communist] Party's policy on intellectuals, policy on education, and the party's previous political movements…"

The words don’t seem like much now, but they were very serious then.

It didn’t say, “They committed suicide due to lack of understanding of the Cultural Revolution.”

Rather, it said, “After being denounced by the revolutionary masses, they committed suicide for fear of punishment.” That's roughly what it said. I don't have it with me today.

At that time, even my relatives grumbled to my brother, “You should consult with us.” I was 16 years old when I went to the countryside.

Two years after that, my brother started at the factory; he was still a teenager.

People were vague about my parents’ case, feeling that when kids lost parents at such an early age, it was very pitiful.

However, the way it was concluded, [people thought our parents had committed suicide for fear of punishment].

After that, my brother became depressed, feeling like everything was hopeless, and ended up committing suicide in May 1966 [1976].

Back then we didn’t realize, but now we recognize it was due to depression.

Interviewer: How old was he at that time?

22. 22 years old. As for me, I got lucky. I brought back the letter, and showed it to two Educated Youths friends.

They all felt it was unimaginable. That administrator did not know the Gang of Four would be overthrown later,

did not know I would leave the countryside later – she was just acting on her human conscience. I was really moved.

Interviewer: Yes, really it was not easy in that environment.

In that environment, not doing bad things was nice. In addition, she did not know me well.

If I had been very revolutionary, and had pointed out what she had done…

Interviewer: Had reported her?

Right. What would have happened to her if I had?

She said, "I saw your resume, and also know you have always been dependable.” She was very concerned about me and my grandmother.

She also helped me go back to the city. Especially after my brother committed suicide, she sped up the processing. My brother passed away in May 1976.

That October, I received the opportunity to return to the city, so I went back in December. Therefore, the administrator was really…

Interviewer: You won’t forget her as long as you live.

Right, I will never forget her. However, one thing I have not done well -- I have not gone to see her, though we have always stayed in contact.

Now we are in touch, especially since her son also uses WeChat. The administrator has told me,

“[What I did] was normal; you were just a kid, and pitiful enough already. They [the parents’ work unit] did not [submit the letter] legally...

[...If they had done it legally, I would’ve had no choice.] I only accepted what we had requested, not [the letter] they forced us to receive.”

Of course, she could have thrown away the letter, but she gave it to me.

In 1980, I went to meet with my parents’ university [work unit] up north.

First they said, “Can we just not have a memorial service? We'll arrange the cremation, and you can come and take their ashes back to the south.”

I said, “You definitely must have a memorial service.”

Then they gave me their second demand, that I had to return the letter, but I said no.

I could stop investigating them, but I still wanted the letter to remind myself: it is easy to harm others; it is not easy to help others.

Since then, I have complied with this creed in my life: if there is a way I can help others, I will do my best.

That administrator and I were complete strangers before.

Interviewer: I can understand your feeling.

We have always stayed in touch. I wanted her to come out and have a good time with me, but she said she was too old for that.

Interviewer: Thank you very much. I gave you ten minutes, and the first thing you thought of is this good person.

Because in that time, people like us were just ants. Someone could have trampled you to death with one footstep.

Interviewer: Thank you very much.