WEBVTT 00:00:21.521 --> 00:00:25.959 I feel it can be said, the 10 years of the Cultural Revolution were 10 years 00:00:25.959 --> 00:00:29.029 in which heaven and earth were turned upside-down. 00:00:29.062 --> 00:00:32.065 For our country, these 10 years were total confusion. 00:00:32.065 --> 00:00:32.966 For my personal life, 00:00:32.966 --> 00:00:38.605 it was also a turning-point of everything being turned upside-down. 00:00:38.638 --> 00:00:47.981 But on the other hand, there were many proud accomplishments during the Cultural Revolution. 00:00:47.981 --> 00:00:48.081 But on the other hand, there were many proud accomplishments during the Cultural Revolution. 00:00:48.081 --> 00:00:53.620 In summer 1967, I went to buy vegetables at Ganjiakou shopping center, 00:00:53.620 --> 00:00:54.988 but came home empty-handed. 00:00:54.988 --> 00:00:59.359 But I remember so clearly, on the street's south side, 00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:01.528 on the geology building’s wall, hung a big red banner. 00:01:01.528 --> 00:01:04.631 It said our country had successfully detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 00:01:04.664 --> 00:01:07.100 This left a lasting impression on me. 00:01:07.100 --> 00:01:14.107 At the time China was facing internal disorder, yet could still achieve this. 00:04:16.289 --> 00:04:22.262 When the first general assembly of the Cultural Revolution 00:04:22.295 --> 00:04:27.734 was held in the auditorium of Peking University Hospital. 00:04:27.734 --> 00:04:33.206 They made a few old professors they thought 00:04:33.206 --> 00:04:36.743 had once been landlords, rich peasants, counter-revolutionaries, 00:04:36.776 --> 00:04:40.947 bad elements, and Rightists go and kneel on the stage. 00:04:40.947 --> 00:04:43.216 Those professors were all in their 70s. 00:04:43.216 --> 00:04:49.055 One was the director of ophthalmology of Peking University Hospital. 00:04:49.055 --> 00:04:51.791 There were also three others. 00:04:51.791 --> 00:05:00.233 One was from the surgical department; I forget the other two. 00:05:00.233 --> 00:05:07.073 The Red Guards whipped them. 00:05:07.073 --> 00:05:13.613 I didn’t dare sit in the front; I sat in the back. 00:05:13.613 --> 00:05:18.451 Watching that, I wanted to cry, but I didn’t dare. 00:05:18.451 --> 00:05:21.154 I didn’t dare cry. 00:05:21.154 --> 00:05:32.832 After that, it was just a series of injuries from beatings, deaths from beatings. 00:05:32.832 --> 00:05:38.171 Many things like this happened in our hospital. 00:05:40.707 --> 00:05:47.280 The Red Guards hit my mom with a belt--a belt with a buckle. 00:05:47.280 --> 00:05:50.917 They hit my mom, hit her really hard. 00:05:50.917 --> 00:05:56.189 [Her] entire back was swollen, totally covered in broken blood vessels. 00:05:56.222 --> 00:06:00.293 At the time, we were little; we watched and were really scared. 00:06:00.293 --> 00:06:02.128 One [feeling] was fear. Another was hate. 00:06:21.614 --> 00:06:24.617 [Chairman Mao] was actually quite far away from us. 00:06:24.617 --> 00:06:27.387 He sat in a car and waved while it drove along. 00:06:27.420 --> 00:06:29.522 Actually, we couldn't see him because we were so far away, 00:06:29.522 --> 00:06:33.760 but we were all excited. Everyone wept! 00:06:33.793 --> 00:06:37.797 It was because we never imagined-- it was the first time for us to 00:06:37.797 --> 00:06:42.335 come to Beijing and see Chairman Mao. 00:06:42.335 --> 00:06:45.605 Our feeling toward Chairman Mao was that he was the “red sun.” I remember it deeply— 00:06:45.605 --> 00:06:47.507 we would respond enthusiastically to whatever he said. 00:07:18.938 --> 00:07:25.111 Our neighbors' kids were older-- middle and high school students. 00:07:25.178 --> 00:07:30.850 They were burning books and we little kids just stood there watching them. 00:07:30.850 --> 00:07:34.320 They asked, “Do you have any Four Olds books at home?” 00:07:34.320 --> 00:07:40.059 I didn’t know, but it seemed that we had some old books. 00:07:40.059 --> 00:07:41.761 They told me, "Go get those books and we'll burn them!" 00:07:41.761 --> 00:07:48.701 So, I ran back home and took a series of my father’s books from the shelf. 00:07:48.701 --> 00:07:50.770 I took them out because I saw old pictures-- 00:07:50.770 --> 00:07:54.040 classical Chinese paintings, actually--on their covers. 00:07:54.040 --> 00:07:55.942 But actually, I didn't know what books they were. 00:07:55.942 --> 00:08:00.880 And then, I went back to those people and burned the books with them. 00:08:00.880 --> 00:08:04.083 Even after I burned the books, my family didn’t dare to criticize me. 00:08:04.083 --> 00:08:08.621 The Red Guards came and burned all of our old books. 00:08:08.621 --> 00:08:14.527 I remember quite clearly, a female Red Guard sat on our table. 00:08:14.594 --> 00:08:17.597 Other people were looting, but she wasn't busy with them. 00:08:17.597 --> 00:08:25.004 She just took some hair clips my mom had just bought, 00:08:25.004 --> 00:08:31.744 and pinned the whole strip of them to her head, one by one. 00:08:31.744 --> 00:08:38.184 I had a replica Mauser pistol, and in the blink of an eye, one of the male Red Guards 00:08:38.184 --> 00:08:42.655 had clipped it to his waist to take away with him. 00:08:42.922 --> 00:08:46.726 I remember, the first time our house was searched, 00:08:46.726 --> 00:08:49.362 my eldest sister was not at home. 00:08:49.362 --> 00:08:53.299 She had gone with the Red Guards to Destroy the Four Olds, 00:08:53.299 --> 00:08:57.937 put up fliers, and things like that. 00:08:57.937 --> 00:09:02.108 She came home--and what had happened?! Her own house had been searched, too. 00:09:02.141 --> 00:09:04.844 From that point on, she was just like a “son of a dog." 00:09:04.844 --> 00:09:08.581 She couldn’t join in any [activities] at school. 00:09:11.050 --> 00:09:14.754 We joined local Shanghai Red Guards to search that house. 00:09:14.754 --> 00:09:18.691 That capitalist’s house was a small, Western-style house. 00:09:18.691 --> 00:09:22.695 At the time, it was called a “crystal palace.” 00:09:22.695 --> 00:09:28.134 The rooms were all inlaid with glass crystal panels. 00:09:28.134 --> 00:09:34.674 We immediately took the glass panels down and smashed them. 00:09:34.674 --> 00:09:49.422 Later, some of us occupied the offices of a magazine publisher near our home. 00:09:49.455 --> 00:09:56.062 We organized the Red Guards ourselves, outside of our school. 00:09:56.062 --> 00:10:01.467 We carved our own Red Guards stamps, and printed Red Guards armbands. 00:10:01.534 --> 00:10:08.808 We occupied the three offices of that magazine publisher, to handle our “business." 00:10:08.841 --> 00:10:10.643 Interviewer: Handle business. [Laughs]. 00:10:10.643 --> 00:10:12.712 Right! 00:10:12.712 --> 00:10:21.487 Also, first we searched the head of the magazine publisher's house, and beat him up. 00:10:21.487 --> 00:10:24.724 At the time, he was over 50. 00:10:39.405 --> 00:10:47.413 After I started elementary school, there are some things I really remember. 00:10:47.413 --> 00:10:54.120 One was that our security guard killed himself. 00:10:54.153 --> 00:10:57.423 What could this old guy have possibly done wrong? 00:10:57.423 --> 00:10:59.592 Even now, I don't understand. 00:10:59.592 --> 00:11:06.599 Then, there was a teacher who slashed his wrists, but didn't die. 00:11:06.599 --> 00:11:08.801 I don’t know what ever happened to him. 00:11:08.801 --> 00:11:11.437 I had just begun to understand how things worked, 00:11:11.437 --> 00:11:14.073 and these are the kinds of memories I have. 00:11:14.073 --> 00:11:17.043 We lived on the first floor of our building. 00:11:17.043 --> 00:11:22.982 On the third floor lived a couple, a pair of engineers. 00:11:23.049 --> 00:11:28.988 One day, the husband and wife hanged themselves. 00:11:30.056 --> 00:11:31.457 Interviewer: Oh—the two of them together? 00:11:31.524 --> 00:11:36.562 Yes. I felt bewildered: how did they hang themselves? 00:11:36.562 --> 00:11:40.566 Our home was set up the same way as theirs. 00:11:40.566 --> 00:11:48.207 I kept thinking, how did they do it? Where did they put the rope? 00:11:48.274 --> 00:11:51.177 It was probably July or August of 1966--summertime. 00:11:51.210 --> 00:11:54.647 I was playing in the courtyard. 00:11:54.647 --> 00:12:00.653 Someone shouted, "There, there, there! That building! It's happened again!" 00:12:00.653 --> 00:12:02.822 Everyone ran in that direction. 00:12:02.822 --> 00:12:04.390 The next day, there was more shouting: 00:12:04.390 --> 00:12:06.125 "Someone else has done it!" 00:12:06.192 --> 00:12:10.463 [So many suicides] in such a short amount of time. 00:12:10.463 --> 00:12:15.568 It was a surreal feeling. 00:12:15.568 --> 00:12:28.214 Our family background was capitalist, but we were never defined by that class status. 00:12:28.247 --> 00:12:40.526 So the Red Guards who came to our home were from my school, not from my father’s work unit. 00:12:42.261 --> 00:12:55.441 One of them was a girl whose father was deputy head of the Party School then. 00:12:55.508 --> 00:13:02.381 Her father... later he got into trouble, but in the beginning, he was very powerful. 00:13:03.282 --> 00:13:07.453 What they came for was any gold we had. 00:13:07.520 --> 00:13:15.528 At that time, my father didn’t want to involve us. 00:13:15.528 --> 00:13:18.564 He believed that we were too young to tell us too much. 00:13:18.564 --> 00:13:23.269 So, he had turned all the gold over to a friend. 00:13:23.302 --> 00:13:27.940 That friend betrayed him by telling the Red Guards, who then came over to ransack our home. 00:13:28.908 --> 00:13:37.016 My mother still kept some jewelry to pass down to us children in the future. 00:13:37.016 --> 00:13:43.422 She refused to tell them anything. 00:13:43.422 --> 00:13:50.496 So, they beat her with an iron chain. 00:13:50.496 --> 00:13:52.665 They beat her all evening. 00:13:53.432 --> 00:13:56.969 I couldn’t understand these people. They had parents, too. 00:13:56.969 --> 00:14:03.075 And especially that girl who was the leader. She was my classmate. 00:14:03.075 --> 00:14:09.949 She wanted to show off how aggressive she could be, show how revolutionary she was. 00:14:09.949 --> 00:14:20.960 But later on, her father also got into trouble and was brought down and she was kicked out of the Red Guards. 00:14:20.993 --> 00:14:25.865 So how did she herself feel? 00:14:25.898 --> 00:14:34.073 Probably down to the present she’s never come to grips with this problem, so others tell me. 00:14:34.073 --> 00:14:39.879 I don’t like to go to class reunions because of her. 00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:50.289 Later on, I heard, she’s never come to terms with the Cultural Revolution. 00:14:50.356 --> 00:14:57.730 Just the opposite, she’s always said how she herself was persecuted and victimized. 00:14:57.730 --> 00:15:14.146 So, I think that many people did bad things during the Cultural Revolution that they should acknowledge. 00:15:14.146 --> 00:15:20.486 People who took part passively should also reflect on this. 00:15:20.486 --> 00:15:32.865 For example, even though my home was ransacked and my parents attacked, I also attacked people. 00:15:33.232 --> 00:15:36.869 At the time, the classmate of one of our relatives, 00:15:36.869 --> 00:15:40.239 a middle school student a year or two older than I, 00:15:40.306 --> 00:15:43.242 came to [my relative’s] home to loot it. 00:15:43.242 --> 00:15:46.946 Right away, [my relative] said, “Oh, our house doesn’t have anything worth taking." 00:15:46.946 --> 00:15:49.782 "I’ll take you to my relatives’ home.” 00:15:49.782 --> 00:15:54.620 Actually, I feel that at the time, you can’t say she was any kind of revolutionary. 00:15:54.620 --> 00:15:59.625 Rather, she wanted to [protect] her own family. 00:15:59.625 --> 00:16:03.696 Those classmates of hers were all middle school students, 00:16:03.696 --> 00:16:05.698 around 13 or 14 years old. 00:16:05.698 --> 00:16:08.067 All girls--they went to a girls’ school. 00:16:08.067 --> 00:16:11.470 They came to our house, and cut off all my mother’s hair. 00:16:11.470 --> 00:16:14.006 At the time, [people’s] hair was shaved in “yin-yang” style [as punishment]. 00:16:14.006 --> 00:16:18.844 They struggled against my mother in the courtyard, [made her] kneel there. 00:16:18.911 --> 00:16:23.182 This was really a personal humiliation. 00:16:23.182 --> 00:16:31.357 We had a neighbor who was a middle school foreign languages teacher. 00:16:31.357 --> 00:16:33.559 This teacher was pretty strict. 00:16:33.559 --> 00:16:35.661 She also taught in a girls’ school. 00:16:35.661 --> 00:16:42.835 Her students came--probably junior high school students, 13 to 15 years old. 00:16:42.835 --> 00:16:52.578 I didn’t see this myself, but I heard they tortured the teacher and her husband for one or two days. 00:16:52.578 --> 00:16:58.150 Then, they tied them to a tree, and finally beat them to death. 00:16:58.150 --> 00:17:01.253 But the students still weren’t satisfied. 00:17:01.253 --> 00:17:06.225 So, they also stabbed and kicked [the couple] to see if they were dead or not. 00:17:37.356 --> 00:17:46.665 I don't know why I became part of the initial rebel faction; I was young, only a seventh grader. 00:17:46.665 --> 00:17:52.004 Later on it was seen as a conservative faction, though [in the beginning] it was actually a rebel faction. 00:17:52.071 --> 00:17:57.276 Our school was where a lot happened during the Cultural Revolution. 00:17:57.309 --> 00:18:02.114 As time went on, a lot of messy, complicated things transpired there. 00:18:02.114 --> 00:18:08.754 Anyway, though I was only about 15 years old, 00:18:08.754 --> 00:18:09.955 I had already started to think 00:18:09.955 --> 00:18:15.561 wow, politics is a really complex thing, 00:18:15.561 --> 00:18:18.297 even an insidious thing. 00:18:18.297 --> 00:18:21.100 I had this feeling at the time. 00:18:21.100 --> 00:18:28.974 Maybe that was why, relatively early, I started to see the Cultural Revolution more clearly, 00:18:28.974 --> 00:18:32.144 though I cannot say I saw through it completely. 00:18:32.211 --> 00:18:34.847 Actually, some of the Old Red Guards in Beijing at that time also [felt the way I did.] 00:18:34.847 --> 00:18:38.150 [Early in the Cultural Revolution] it was not so much about the broad political environment-- 00:18:38.150 --> 00:18:40.853 each small political environment developed independently. 00:18:40.853 --> 00:18:43.222 For example, our school was like a political laboratory. 00:18:43.222 --> 00:18:46.892 In each independently-developing environment, many things were the same. 00:18:46.892 --> 00:18:53.132 Each had a personality cult, autocratic dictatorship, and factional struggle. 00:18:57.870 --> 00:19:09.281 I was 14 or 15 years old that time, and I felt the world suddenly changed. 00:19:09.281 --> 00:19:16.755 I lived in a university faculty residence compound; all of my neighbors were prestigious intellectuals. 00:19:16.755 --> 00:19:21.727 The relationships between us all were bound by etiquette; it was a very polite environment. 00:19:21.727 --> 00:19:26.298 But suddenly, at this time, it turned into a place where people could just casually be beaten up. 00:19:26.298 --> 00:19:29.568 The compound also became a [place for] “cow-demons and snake-spirits.” 00:19:29.568 --> 00:19:32.371 I remember an old man in our building, who was very elegant. 00:19:32.371 --> 00:19:37.409 He liked calligraphy and raising crickets. 00:19:37.409 --> 00:19:41.213 One day all his cricket jars were smashed, and he was beaten. 00:19:41.213 --> 00:19:46.318 It was the first time I saw someone be beaten. It was horrible. 00:19:46.318 --> 00:19:50.923 At the same time, not only did the place I lived suffer a disaster, but so did the school. 00:19:50.923 --> 00:19:54.860 What is engraved on my heart is this: 00:19:54.860 --> 00:19:58.931 One day, I was made to sit in the middle surrounded by the crowd. 00:19:58.964 --> 00:20:01.233 Those in the middle were made to admit we were "sons of dogs." 00:20:01.300 --> 00:20:04.069 I was forced to explain my father’s "problematic history." 00:20:04.069 --> 00:20:08.674 It was as if our files were made public, and everyone knew what my father had done in the past. 00:20:08.674 --> 00:20:12.611 At that time, our class had some core members of the Red Guards. 00:20:12.611 --> 00:20:19.051 What was unforgettable was that suddenly people were divided into ranks. 00:20:19.051 --> 00:20:23.222 It seemed [to them] I was no longer a “successor to the revolution,” but their enemy. 00:20:23.222 --> 00:20:26.358 This was a horrible thing. 00:20:26.425 --> 00:20:31.430 Those students did it themselves. They could do whatever they wanted to torture people. 00:20:31.430 --> 00:20:38.804 That impact was just like a drowning calamity, because I was so young. 00:20:38.804 --> 00:20:43.342 If you find out you’re one of the “cow-demons and snake-spirits,” you feel such shame. 00:20:43.342 --> 00:20:46.278 You can’t hold your head up. You can only cry. 00:20:46.278 --> 00:20:52.451 I still haven't shaken off that feeling of inferiority. 00:20:52.451 --> 00:20:57.356 Then, people were out in the streets, beating people, 00:20:57.356 --> 00:20:59.091 and shaving people's heads. 00:20:59.091 --> 00:21:02.461 I can hardly describe it. 00:21:02.461 --> 00:21:07.633 This kind of memory is one page in my coming-of-age story. 00:21:08.767 --> 00:21:12.571 Then later, we suddenly had the right to set up an organization. 00:21:12.571 --> 00:21:15.774 We could also create organizations and rebel. 00:21:15.774 --> 00:21:19.845 Rebel against the Bourgeois Reactionary Line. 00:21:19.845 --> 00:21:21.947 Blame Liu [Shaoqi] and Deng [Xiaoping] for it all. 00:21:21.947 --> 00:21:28.887 [For labeling us] "sons of dogs" [because of our family background]. 00:21:28.954 --> 00:21:31.490 We now had the right to rebel. 00:21:31.490 --> 00:21:37.496 Now, nobody was innocent, because we also set up a Red Guards organization. 00:21:37.496 --> 00:21:43.402 We could also go into the streets, participate in so-called rebel movements, 00:21:43.435 --> 00:21:48.173 plan to persecute other people, and even take part in violent struggle. 00:21:48.240 --> 00:21:57.249 Although we did so inconspicuously, we were still following along, waving flags and shouting. 00:21:57.249 --> 00:22:02.621 We attacked people; no one in our group was uninvolved. 00:22:02.621 --> 00:22:06.992 I don’t believe there were really any “bystanders.” 00:22:06.992 --> 00:22:13.632 Born in such a family, if you wanted to prove you were revolutionary, right? 00:22:13.632 --> 00:22:16.368 The only way was to join the movement. 00:22:16.368 --> 00:22:23.375 How many people can say, "I didn't join the movement, didn't pay attention"? I don't know. 00:22:23.375 --> 00:22:29.915 But I knew I wanted to work hard to do well, to show I was a member of the movement. 00:22:29.948 --> 00:22:34.186 What kind of people there are results in what kind of leaders. 00:22:34.219 --> 00:22:36.221 The so-called Four Greats [Mao Zedong] was made by our uproar. 00:22:36.621 --> 00:22:42.928 In that era, I described myself as ashes from a volcanic eruption. 00:22:42.928 --> 00:22:50.369 After the eruption, we were all bits of dust in the falling ashes. 00:22:50.369 --> 00:23:01.113 Starting out it was burning hot, but after turning to ashes it was a kind of loss. 00:23:03.682 --> 00:23:13.125 I personally witnessed large-scale violent struggle while living on a university campus. 00:23:13.125 --> 00:23:18.663 From the building's roof, I watched violent struggle between university students and staff unfold. 00:23:18.663 --> 00:23:22.134 It was like the ancient battlefields, 00:23:22.134 --> 00:23:25.771 people holding long spears, throwing stones, 00:23:25.771 --> 00:23:30.442 the two sides fighting for a while, then retreating. 00:23:30.442 --> 00:23:36.515 At that time, we didn’t understand that it was actually a break in human relations. 00:23:36.548 --> 00:23:45.323 Relationships broken during the time went on that way for years. 00:23:45.357 --> 00:23:51.630 What we called “factionalism” during that period, existed for a long time. 00:23:51.630 --> 00:24:00.806 The demonization of interpersonal relationships left a deep impression on me. 00:24:01.273 --> 00:24:04.009 Probably about one or two hundred people rushed in. 00:24:04.009 --> 00:24:07.646 Some people have said 200 or 300; anyway, it was dense. 00:24:07.646 --> 00:24:09.548 The entire road was full [of people]. 00:24:09.548 --> 00:24:13.185 So, I went up and smacked him with the stick--bang! 00:24:13.185 --> 00:24:15.387 His safety helmet went flying off. 00:24:15.387 --> 00:24:18.290 He stumbled, but for some reason he still didn’t turn his head. 00:24:18.356 --> 00:24:19.758 I hit him again. 00:24:19.758 --> 00:24:22.093 It must’ve been when he didn’t turn around that I hit him on the back of the head. 00:24:22.127 --> 00:24:25.130 Actually, my using the stick was enough to kill him. 00:24:25.130 --> 00:24:28.834 The police explained it clearly: there was no need for another blow. 00:24:28.834 --> 00:24:33.672 That stick had a square head--it was the handle of a hoe. 00:24:33.672 --> 00:24:36.942 After I hit him, blood splashed all over the stick. 00:24:36.942 --> 00:24:40.779 As soon as I hit him on the back of the head, his skull fractured. 00:24:40.779 --> 00:24:44.049 It just shattered, basically. 00:24:44.049 --> 00:24:47.118 He fell immediately. He stopped running. 00:24:47.118 --> 00:24:50.956 On the side of the road was a ditch, with a slope. 00:24:50.956 --> 00:24:53.225 He didn’t fall right into the ditch, but rather sailed over it. 00:24:53.225 --> 00:24:55.527 He landed on the sloping side, and rolled down. 00:24:55.527 --> 00:24:58.129 After he rolled down, he started crawling, trying to pull himself up. 00:24:58.129 --> 00:25:08.406 He wanted to pull himself out of the ditch onto the edge of the ditch. 00:25:08.406 --> 00:25:09.608 Then, I hit him again, right on the forehead. 00:25:09.608 --> 00:25:12.444 The blood flowed from that spot. 00:25:12.511 --> 00:25:14.613 Most of the blood on my stick came from this spot. 00:25:14.613 --> 00:25:19.284 Blood came out of his forehead and spurted all over the stick. 00:25:19.284 --> 00:25:22.087 At the time, I screamed proudly, “You can’t get away!” 00:25:22.087 --> 00:25:27.192 Actually, at that moment, I realized what it was to kill someone in the heat of passion. 00:25:27.192 --> 00:25:31.096 Hell, just then I was so cruel, I didn’t think too much. 00:25:31.096 --> 00:25:33.565 [I just thought], I’ll hit you so you can’t run off. 00:25:33.565 --> 00:25:37.736 I was so satisfied: I hit you hard enough to paralyze you—to stop you dead. 00:25:37.736 --> 00:25:39.905 Then, I started chasing other people. 00:25:39.905 --> 00:25:43.074 I realized I had no energy left. 00:25:43.074 --> 00:25:48.179 Then, the moment we were beside ourselves with satisfaction, 00:25:48.179 --> 00:25:50.582 someone told me, “That guy is dead.” 00:25:50.582 --> 00:25:53.685 I was struck dumb. 00:25:53.752 --> 00:25:58.290 Actually, I feel there's something hidden deep inside us all… 00:26:28.987 --> 00:26:33.425 Interviewer: So, you belonged to an upright, very “red” family. 00:26:33.425 --> 00:26:44.502 Right. So, during the Cultural Revolution, our family was still quite stable. 00:26:44.502 --> 00:26:49.808 We didn’t join the Red Guards or anything. 00:26:49.808 --> 00:26:55.981 The adults in our family didn’t let us go out, but rather made us stay at home. 00:26:59.551 --> 00:27:08.360 When we went to the factory, a “worker by blood lineage” from the revolutionary committee spoke to us. 00:27:08.360 --> 00:27:15.000 He said, “Students, I have two things to tell you." 00:27:15.000 --> 00:27:19.904 "One, to hurt others is to hurt yourself. What you do will come back to you." 00:27:19.938 --> 00:27:24.309 "Two, skill is like a Chinese pear-leaved crabapple: the older, the redder." 00:27:24.309 --> 00:27:28.580 "Politics is like an onion: the older, the emptier." 00:27:30.415 --> 00:27:33.852 The Red Guards were all over the countryside, making revolution. 00:27:33.852 --> 00:27:37.122 Interviewer: Were they local Red Guards or did they come in from other regions? 00:27:37.122 --> 00:27:41.760 They were local. 00:27:41.760 --> 00:27:47.699 Interviewer: They weren’t doing agricultural production work, were they? Were they peasants' children, too? 00:27:47.699 --> 00:27:49.567 Right, they were peasants’ children. 00:27:49.567 --> 00:27:56.307 Interviewer: So, peasants' children also became Red Guards and rebelled. Who were their targets? 00:27:56.307 --> 00:28:02.147 Whatever cadres had gotten mixed up in trouble like taking bribes. 00:28:02.147 --> 00:28:06.251 Cadres were tied up and beaten. 00:28:06.251 --> 00:28:08.820 Interviewer: So they targeted the cadres. 00:28:08.887 --> 00:28:11.423 Yes, the cadres. Even if the masses weren’t right about it, they still -- 00:28:11.423 --> 00:28:13.591 [Interviewee's husband, off-screen]: [They targeted] "those in power." 00:28:13.591 --> 00:28:15.627 [Interviewee]: -- landlords and others were still targeted. 00:28:15.627 --> 00:28:17.429 Interviewer: Oh, they targeted landlords. Did you actually witness that? 00:28:17.429 --> 00:28:22.701 Of course. We farmers worked in agricultural production all day. 00:28:22.701 --> 00:28:26.271 In the evening, of course we saw the Red Guards' [struggle meetings]. 00:28:27.839 --> 00:28:38.983 Another thing I remember well was working in the fields every day after I turned 11. 00:28:38.983 --> 00:28:42.854 The militia company leader or the political instructor held the red flag when going to the fields. 00:28:42.921 --> 00:28:46.758 After we got out there, we stuck the red flags in the ground, 00:28:46.758 --> 00:28:52.497 and everyone stood together and sang “The East is Red." 00:28:52.564 --> 00:28:55.200 Interviewer: You all sang "The East is Red." 00:28:55.200 --> 00:28:56.835 We all sang "The East is Red," 00:28:56.835 --> 00:29:01.106 and then said, “Long live Chairman Mao; good health to Vice Chairman Lin!” 00:29:01.106 --> 00:29:03.041 Interviewer: Your memories are so clear! 00:29:03.041 --> 00:29:05.777 Yes. After we finished for the day, 00:29:05.777 --> 00:29:11.216 we'd sing “Sailing the Seas Depends on the Helmsman” together. 00:29:11.216 --> 00:29:13.418 Interviewer: That was the song for finishing work. 00:29:13.485 --> 00:29:20.058 Right. We finally went home, and had to gather firewood, make a fire, cook dinner-- 00:29:20.058 --> 00:29:22.427 but we still couldn't eat just yet. 00:29:22.427 --> 00:29:26.231 Before we ate, we stood and bowed three times in front of Chairman Mao’s portrait 00:29:26.231 --> 00:29:34.139 [We'd say], “Great Leader Chairman Mao, it is you who gives us happy lives and food to eat." 00:29:34.139 --> 00:29:36.708 "Many thanks to our Great Leader Chairman Mao.” 00:29:36.708 --> 00:29:38.810 Interviewer: Who led you in doing this? 00:29:38.810 --> 00:29:41.179 My mom. 00:29:41.179 --> 00:29:43.815 Interviewer: Did your mom lead a group of people in doing this? 00:29:43.815 --> 00:29:47.085 [Yes.] If we didn’t do this, and we were seen by the neighbors, 00:29:47.085 --> 00:29:51.923 the next day we’d be the ones being struggled against! 00:29:51.990 --> 00:29:54.159 Villagers like carrying their supper dishes, 00:29:54.159 --> 00:29:58.997 going from house to house visiting each other. 00:29:58.997 --> 00:30:04.636 If they saw [we] didn't acknowledge Chairman Mao [before meals], 00:30:04.636 --> 00:30:06.204 it would be a huge problem. 00:30:06.204 --> 00:30:10.441 The next day we would have been struggled against in the “cow shed.” 00:30:10.441 --> 00:30:14.479 My family was poor back then. 00:30:14.479 --> 00:30:21.119 Every time I wanted to buy a pen or notebook, I had to trade an egg for it. 00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:25.924 When we bought something, we each had to first say lines from Quotations from Chairman Mao. 00:30:25.924 --> 00:30:29.227 The moment I arrived at the store, I said, “Serve the people.” 00:30:29.227 --> 00:30:33.565 And the clerk responded, “Through and through.” 00:30:33.565 --> 00:30:42.307 After that, I gave him the egg, and he gave me the notebook. 00:30:42.307 --> 00:30:46.411 At the time, everyone had to do that when shopping. 00:30:46.411 --> 00:30:48.580 Interviewer: Did you feel it was funny? 00:30:48.580 --> 00:30:51.149 No, it was very serious, and appropriate. 00:30:51.149 --> 00:30:55.753 If you laughed, that would show disrespect to Chairman Mao, and then what would you do? 00:30:55.753 --> 00:30:58.223 That would bring a lot of trouble. 00:30:58.223 --> 00:31:00.892 [I’d say,] “The core force to lead our enterprise..." 00:31:00.892 --> 00:31:04.629 and the clerk had to chime in, “...is the Chinese Communist Party.” 00:31:04.696 --> 00:31:06.497 Then he'd sell the thing to you. 00:31:06.497 --> 00:31:10.702 That's it! If you failed to say it, that was not okay. 00:31:10.702 --> 00:31:15.974 There was something more disgusting. 00:31:15.974 --> 00:31:24.649 At night, we'd meet and sing in the "cow shed": 00:31:24.649 --> 00:31:29.187 “The sky is vast, the land is vast, but not as vast as the Party’s kindness." 00:31:29.187 --> 00:31:34.359 ♪ "The sky is vast, the land is vast, but not as vast as the Party's kindness." ♪ 00:31:34.359 --> 00:31:39.564 ♪ "The father is close, the mother is close, [but] not as close as Chairman Mao." ♪ 00:31:39.564 --> 00:31:45.003 ♪ "All the good things are not as good as socialism.” ♪ 00:31:45.003 --> 00:31:46.905 There was a song like that, right? 00:31:46.938 --> 00:31:48.940 Interviewer: Yes, there was. 00:31:48.940 --> 00:31:51.009 There was one idiot who sang, 00:31:51.009 --> 00:31:54.946 “The father is close, the mother is close, but not as close as my wife.” 00:31:55.013 --> 00:31:58.583 [Both laugh.] 00:31:59.284 --> 00:32:01.753 It was so bad. 00:32:01.753 --> 00:32:04.689 People wouldn't let it go. 00:32:04.689 --> 00:32:11.462 If Chairman Mao is the closest, then how can your wife compete? 00:32:11.496 --> 00:32:13.064 Really, there were so many things like this. 00:32:13.064 --> 00:32:14.866 Really, there were so many things like this. 00:33:05.717 --> 00:33:11.756 I lived in a remote village in Shandong Province, one of the most grassroots-level places. 00:33:11.756 --> 00:33:19.764 I myself was born into an impoverished peasant family. 00:33:19.764 --> 00:33:22.033 I have a memory of the violent struggle. 00:33:22.033 --> 00:33:26.371 In our village, peasants were also divided into two factions. 00:33:26.371 --> 00:33:30.141 One faction had more people. 00:33:30.141 --> 00:33:37.582 It and a large work unit for a state-run enterprise had split into two factions. 00:33:37.582 --> 00:33:48.159 The work unit was going to send a huge group to massacre our village. 00:33:48.159 --> 00:33:52.130 I was in middle school at the time and remember it well. 00:33:52.163 --> 00:33:56.234 One evening, a rumor spread through the village: 00:33:56.234 --> 00:33:59.404 "Everyone go indoors and lock the doors and windows!" 00:33:59.404 --> 00:34:10.048 The opposition was coming to massacre our village's mainstream faction. 00:34:10.048 --> 00:34:14.986 Ordinary people were probably going to be caught up in it and hurt as well. 00:34:15.153 --> 00:34:21.526 During the Cultural Revolution, our Corps was divided into two factions, 00:34:21.526 --> 00:34:24.695 and the two factions engaged in violent struggle. 00:34:24.695 --> 00:34:31.536 My brother was two years older than me. 00:34:31.536 --> 00:34:38.176 He formally joined a Cultural Revolution combat team. 00:34:38.176 --> 00:34:40.378 My father also joined a combat team. 00:34:40.378 --> 00:34:43.848 I don’t remember the exact names of the two teams. 00:34:43.915 --> 00:34:46.284 Maybe one was the Loyalists; the other was the anti-Loyalists. 00:34:46.284 --> 00:34:48.853 Interviewer: Oh, your father and brother belonged to opposite teams! 00:34:48.853 --> 00:34:54.192 Yes, opposites. They argued at every family meal. 00:34:54.192 --> 00:34:58.763 One said that his team was “revolutionary,” while the other said the same thing about his team. 00:34:58.763 --> 00:35:00.765 Every time they parted on bad terms. 00:35:01.199 --> 00:35:11.509 All of the tractors were covered with iron sheets except for two holes in the front. 00:35:11.509 --> 00:35:14.212 You could reach out on the side to grab a “zhaqiang.” 00:35:14.212 --> 00:35:16.214 At that time, every home had those. 00:35:19.250 --> 00:35:21.786 I came back from a business trip. It happened to be July 13. 00:35:21.786 --> 00:35:29.127 That July 13, in Wuhu city, the two factions’ violent struggle so intense that people were killed. 00:35:29.160 --> 00:35:33.531 Struggle was held in the streets. The ship we were on was from Jiangbei. 00:35:33.531 --> 00:35:35.967 We hadn’t showered for days. 00:35:35.967 --> 00:35:39.504 We had been given a little water heated on the ship’s engine to wash with. 00:35:39.504 --> 00:35:41.172 The captain suggested [the ship] go to Jiangbei first, 00:35:41.172 --> 00:35:43.608 and come back to Wuhu the next morning. 00:35:43.608 --> 00:35:45.076 He said the ship couldn't go into Wuhu: 00:35:45.143 --> 00:35:48.613 "In the evening machine guns are set up at the three-way intersection." 00:35:50.248 --> 00:35:54.619 What left the deepest impression was two-party struggle during a demonstration in Tianjin. 00:35:54.619 --> 00:36:02.093 There was a factory in Tianjin; it was probably named 2672. 00:36:02.093 --> 00:36:04.729 The two-party struggle happened there. 00:36:04.729 --> 00:36:11.569 [Workers from] one party threw a worker from the other party into a pool of sulfuric acid. 00:36:11.636 --> 00:36:14.472 [That worker] was burned alive. 00:36:14.472 --> 00:36:22.380 That person looked purple, like an eggplant, 00:36:22.380 --> 00:36:26.551 and was carried out to the street and paraded around. 00:36:26.551 --> 00:36:32.123 Since then, I haven't eaten eggplant. 00:36:32.590 --> 00:36:39.463 When my neighbor was younger, he had joined the War of Liberation. 00:36:39.463 --> 00:36:43.501 He was 18 or 19 years old. 00:36:43.501 --> 00:36:48.940 He contributed to the cause of Liberation. 00:36:48.940 --> 00:36:54.045 [During the Cultural Revolution,] he was taken to the "cow shed." 00:36:54.045 --> 00:37:04.589 To take revenge on him, members of the “Grand Alliance” faction forced two screws, 00:37:04.589 --> 00:37:10.328 as thick as your little finger, through his legs. 00:37:11.796 --> 00:37:16.367 My mother was named Huang Peiying. 00:37:16.367 --> 00:37:18.603 Huang Peiying. 00:37:18.603 --> 00:37:22.540 She was born in 1928. 00:37:22.540 --> 00:37:26.711 She was barely past thirty when she died. 00:37:26.711 --> 00:37:28.079 She was a typical middle-aged woman, 00:37:28.079 --> 00:37:31.082 with two young children with her. 00:37:31.148 --> 00:37:32.650 When my mother was struck down, 00:37:32.650 --> 00:37:34.785 When I saw her get shot, 00:37:34.785 --> 00:37:36.621 I ran straight for her. 00:37:36.621 --> 00:37:38.723 The bullet had gone in here, 00:37:38.723 --> 00:37:40.258 and came out over here. 00:37:40.258 --> 00:37:42.393 The bullet came from that direction... 00:37:42.393 --> 00:37:45.630 Maybe five or six hundred meters away. 00:37:45.630 --> 00:37:47.098 It went in here. 00:37:47.098 --> 00:37:48.633 It was fired from that mountain. 00:37:48.633 --> 00:37:49.634 It came out there. 00:37:49.634 --> 00:37:51.902 After she was shot, she fell down. 00:37:51.902 --> 00:37:55.640 When I saw her get shot, 00:37:55.640 --> 00:37:58.009 I tore my [shirt]... 00:37:58.009 --> 00:37:59.910 To show them we were ordinary people, 00:37:59.910 --> 00:38:02.213 We had all put on white clothes. 00:38:02.213 --> 00:38:04.115 The fighters were all wearing black 00:38:04.181 --> 00:38:06.050 or army fatigues. Camouflage. 00:38:06.050 --> 00:38:07.385 So we all wore white. 00:38:07.385 --> 00:38:08.853 To show we were ordinary people. 00:38:08.853 --> 00:38:10.488 Peaceful people, fleeing danger. 00:38:10.488 --> 00:38:13.391 To let them know. To let everyone see. 00:38:13.391 --> 00:38:14.959 But they were killing innocent people. 00:38:14.959 --> 00:38:15.926 After my mother was shot down, 00:38:15.926 --> 00:38:17.862 I tore my clothing off to stanch her bleeding. 00:38:17.862 --> 00:38:18.963 It didn't work. 00:38:18.963 --> 00:38:20.665 Then they strafed us 00:38:20.665 --> 00:38:22.500 with 127 high-velocity machine guns. 00:38:22.500 --> 00:38:25.403 Strafed us with machine guns. 00:38:25.403 --> 00:38:27.238 The bullets kicked up dust around me. 00:38:27.238 --> 00:38:29.073 I couldn't save my mother. 00:38:29.073 --> 00:38:32.143 I waved my clothing at them, 00:38:32.143 --> 00:38:34.312 to show we weren't fighters. 00:38:34.345 --> 00:38:36.847 and that's when they shot at us 00:38:36.847 --> 00:38:39.884 My brother hid in a pepper field. 00:38:39.884 --> 00:38:43.054 I've never been able to forget this. 00:38:43.054 --> 00:38:44.889 A horrible, horrible tragedy. 00:38:44.889 --> 00:38:49.627 Thinking about it now still makes me feel terrible. 00:38:49.627 --> 00:38:52.797 That bullet actually penetrated her heart. 00:38:52.797 --> 00:38:54.165 Her eyes turned down. 00:38:54.165 --> 00:38:55.866 She was staring right at me. 00:38:55.900 --> 00:38:59.270 She might still have been thinking. 00:38:59.270 --> 00:39:02.239 She stared at me. At her own children, all so young. 00:39:02.239 --> 00:39:05.976 My youngest brother was only five. 00:39:05.976 --> 00:39:09.347 I had two other brothers and a sister. 00:39:09.347 --> 00:39:11.916 Four younger siblings, counting him. 00:39:11.916 --> 00:39:17.655 Just think: a mother, looking at her children, holding her as she drew her last breath. 00:39:47.752 --> 00:39:52.156 Originally, the relationships between households were quite harmonious. 00:39:52.156 --> 00:39:54.392 Later, during the movement of ransacking and looting houses, 00:39:54.425 --> 00:39:56.394 there were some relatively prosperous people, 00:39:56.394 --> 00:40:01.065 senior intellectuals and former capitalists who lived in rather large houses. 00:40:01.065 --> 00:40:04.435 But they were the housing authority's houses; they weren't privately-owned. 00:40:04.435 --> 00:40:07.705 Then, their living space was limited. 00:40:07.705 --> 00:40:12.510 For example, they had four or five rooms, but they were relegated to one or two rooms. 00:40:12.510 --> 00:40:15.880 As a result, suddenly many vacant houses appeared. 00:40:15.880 --> 00:40:19.784 Some people who'd been living in smaller houses took the opportunity and moved in. 00:40:19.784 --> 00:40:22.720 We called it “grabbing houses.” 00:40:22.720 --> 00:40:28.058 For a period in Shanghai, this was a trend. 00:40:28.058 --> 00:40:31.796 These relatively poor people who lived in close quarters 00:40:31.796 --> 00:40:39.804 united together, and moved their stuff into the wealthy families' empty houses. 00:40:40.805 --> 00:40:46.710 I was in Yunnan [Province], in the town of Banqiao in Shilin County. 00:40:46.710 --> 00:40:50.381 My father was a demobilized serviceman. 00:40:50.381 --> 00:40:54.819 After being demobilized, he'd become an accountant for the production brigade. 00:40:57.655 --> 00:40:58.923 Interviewer: You're from an ethnic minority, aren't you? 00:40:58.923 --> 00:41:00.391 Right. 00:41:00.391 --> 00:41:02.560 Interviewer: Would you mind telling us which group? 00:41:02.560 --> 00:41:04.395 I'm Yi. 00:41:04.395 --> 00:41:09.366 I don't know [which faction] my father belonged to, but he was taken away to be struggled against. 00:41:09.366 --> 00:41:15.406 After a few days of being struggled against, which included being beaten, he couldn't stand it. 00:41:15.473 --> 00:41:18.843 My paternal grandmother had passed away early; none of us knew her. 00:41:18.843 --> 00:41:21.879 She died before my father was demobilized. 00:41:21.879 --> 00:41:30.421 With that situation, and being struggled against, 00:41:30.421 --> 00:41:34.225 my father couldn't stand it, so he hanged himself. 00:41:34.225 --> 00:41:42.166 The morning after he hanged himself the authorities came. 00:41:42.166 --> 00:41:47.338 They wouldn't let us buy a coffin. 00:41:47.338 --> 00:41:50.608 They just took an old woven mat and [wrapped him up]. 00:41:50.608 --> 00:41:59.617 Then, they put up a scarecrow in front of our house. 00:41:59.617 --> 00:42:02.086 Then, they made my mother join in a parade. 00:42:02.086 --> 00:42:05.456 They said my father had committed suicide to escape punishment. 00:42:05.456 --> 00:42:07.992 So a little over a week later, [Red Guards] came to ransack our house. 00:42:08.058 --> 00:42:11.662 They turned the place upside down, looting until we had almost nothing left besides a Thermos. 00:42:11.829 --> 00:42:15.900 In 1945 my father graduated from Shanghai First Huashan Medical School, 00:42:15.900 --> 00:42:18.536 and worked as a doctor in Huashan Hospital. 00:42:18.536 --> 00:42:22.740 So, when my parents moved to Jinan, our income was fairly high. 00:42:22.740 --> 00:42:34.451 Before Liberation, many of my father's classmates had gone to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Europe, and the U.S., 00:42:34.451 --> 00:42:37.221 so he had a lot of overseas connections. 00:42:37.221 --> 00:42:45.095 So during the Cultural Revolution, this caused him to be named a bad element, 00:42:45.095 --> 00:42:48.866 and finally to be labeled a “historical counter-revolutionary.” 00:42:48.866 --> 00:42:52.503 During the Cultural Revolution, our family went through a lot. 00:42:52.503 --> 00:42:54.605 I have a sister eight years older than I. 00:42:54.605 --> 00:42:57.975 She was young at the time, just a middle school student. 00:42:57.975 --> 00:43:04.348 When my father was labeled a bad element, she decided to make a clean break with him. 00:43:04.348 --> 00:43:10.521 Then she changed her family name and moved out, quickly going “down to the countryside.” 00:43:10.521 --> 00:43:14.892 Interviewer: Actually at that time, there were more than a few people who behaved like your sister. 00:43:14.892 --> 00:43:21.065 Quite a few. What’s more, she was just a teenager, and really was brainwashed. 00:43:21.065 --> 00:43:24.001 Also, she didn’t gain anything. 00:43:24.068 --> 00:43:30.341 Other people were fighting, “seizing power,” and at least seized a little power. 00:43:30.341 --> 00:43:34.345 But she got nothing. 00:43:34.345 --> 00:43:38.282 She also went out “networking,” and came back covered in lice. 00:43:38.349 --> 00:43:44.655 I remember my mom made her undress outside, and scalded her clothes in boiling water. 00:43:44.655 --> 00:43:49.360 Going “networking” for months like this. 00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:53.163 I think that during the political movement of the time, 00:43:53.197 --> 00:43:56.834 she was just a teenager who thought what she was doing was correct— 00:43:56.834 --> 00:43:59.470 she was just a teenager who thought what she was doing was correct— 00:43:59.536 --> 00:44:01.105 Interviewer: --was correct. 00:44:01.105 --> 00:44:03.741 My father lived to be 88. 00:44:03.741 --> 00:44:07.544 Before he died, he had a stroke. 00:44:07.544 --> 00:44:10.014 After the stroke, he didn't recognize me. 00:44:10.014 --> 00:44:12.683 He remembered very few things, 00:44:12.683 --> 00:44:19.690 but there's one thing he kept repeating: "I am guilty, and I will rectify it." 00:44:21.291 --> 00:44:29.933 When the Cultural Revolution broke out, I was in the third grade. 00:44:29.933 --> 00:44:37.307 After third grade, [we] basically didn’t go to school. 00:44:37.341 --> 00:44:40.778 Later, one class of elementary school was reinstated, 00:44:40.811 --> 00:44:47.251 but within a few days violent struggle began, so we didn’t keep going to class. 00:44:47.251 --> 00:44:51.989 So, the chaos continued until 1969. 00:44:51.989 --> 00:44:54.825 At that time, classes began to be reinstated. 00:44:54.892 --> 00:45:01.632 There was only the one middle school in our county. 00:45:01.632 --> 00:45:08.372 We third, fourth, fifth, and sixth grade students— 00:45:08.439 --> 00:45:16.980 all the elementary school students—just [became] one class and entered middle school. 00:45:16.980 --> 00:45:27.925 There was no test or assessment; we just all entered [middle school] like this. 00:45:28.292 --> 00:45:32.496 [After] the last year, [we] were to go to high school. 00:45:32.496 --> 00:45:37.267 Junior high was almost over, so [we] would go to high school. 00:45:37.267 --> 00:45:41.939 [After] 2.5 years of junior high, [they] wanted to let us matriculate early, and go to high school. 00:45:42.306 --> 00:45:52.416 First, [we] had to take a test, to be admitted based on our score. 00:45:52.416 --> 00:45:58.322 At the time, I tested first of my entire class, 00:45:58.322 --> 00:46:02.426 so I was quite proud of myself, thinking I’d get to enroll [in high school]. 00:46:02.659 --> 00:46:10.534 OK. On the morning of the day they were going to announce [who would] attend high school, 00:46:10.534 --> 00:46:15.239 [they] prepared to have an afternoon meeting to announce who could go to high school. 00:46:15.239 --> 00:46:19.143 The others wouldn’t be able to. 00:46:19.176 --> 00:46:25.349 That morning the head teacher of our class came to talk to me. 00:46:25.415 --> 00:46:30.521 He said, “There is a problem with your dad. You can’t go to high school.” 00:46:30.521 --> 00:46:32.456 I was blindsided. 00:46:32.456 --> 00:46:38.829 Before this, my paternal grandfather had said my dad was a worker, with nothing wrong [in his background]. 00:46:38.829 --> 00:46:40.697 How had he become a bad person? 00:46:40.697 --> 00:46:43.433 How had he become a bad person? 00:46:43.467 --> 00:46:54.278 Just after Liberation, when he was only 15 years old, he had joined the Liberation army. 00:46:55.012 --> 00:47:00.350 Later, this army went to North Korea. 00:47:00.350 --> 00:47:11.195 In North Korea, [my father] was hit by an American artillery shell during a battle. 00:47:11.195 --> 00:47:15.365 His leg was broken, and he was covered in blood. 00:47:15.365 --> 00:47:16.500 He lost consciousness. 00:47:16.500 --> 00:47:17.668 He lost consciousness. 00:47:17.668 --> 00:47:18.869 He lost consciousness. 00:47:18.869 --> 00:47:19.937 He lost consciousness. 00:47:19.937 --> 00:47:29.046 When he came to, he was in an American army hospital. 00:47:29.046 --> 00:47:34.117 He had been captured by Americans when he was unconscious. 00:47:34.117 --> 00:47:37.788 Just like this, he became a bad person. 00:47:38.622 --> 00:47:44.862 After he came back, it was said he was a traitor because he had not committed suicide. 00:47:44.862 --> 00:47:46.496 After he came back, it was said he was a traitor because he had not committed suicide. 00:47:46.496 --> 00:47:59.710 His situation was recorded in my paternal grandfather’s files; my grandfather himself didn’t know. 00:48:00.611 --> 00:48:08.185 Then it was discovered that I was not as good as I usually boasted, a poor peasant and all that. 00:48:08.185 --> 00:48:08.986 There was a problem with my father. 00:48:09.253 --> 00:48:11.922 Then, I was sent “down to the countryside,” 00:48:12.990 --> 00:48:17.094 At the time, since I felt I was someone who’d committed a crime, 00:48:17.160 --> 00:48:24.201 to be completely honest, I worked conscientiously in my labor. 00:48:24.201 --> 00:48:28.572 If the leader said to do something, I did it very sincerely. 00:48:29.006 --> 00:48:35.045 Around 1967 or 1968, I was imprisoned 00:48:35.045 --> 00:48:40.117 because my family had overseas relations and we were Christians. 00:48:40.183 --> 00:48:51.862 My father was suspected of being an American spy, receiving overseas remittances, 00:48:51.929 --> 00:48:54.865 and corresponding with people overseas. 00:48:54.865 --> 00:49:00.404 I had a lot of siblings, and most of them took an evasive attitude. 00:49:00.404 --> 00:49:04.608 Some even made a clean break [with our father]. 00:49:04.608 --> 00:49:08.612 Only I wanted to get to the root of my father's problems. 00:49:08.679 --> 00:49:12.950 I cast myself into the net; as a result, I was arrested too. 00:49:12.950 --> 00:49:18.956 After being imprisoned three or four months, I wanted to kill myself. 00:49:18.956 --> 00:49:21.058 I found no hope in life. 00:49:21.058 --> 00:49:27.531 Every day, thousands, tens of thousands of people condemned me, trampled me underfoot. 00:49:27.531 --> 00:49:29.900 No one considered me a good person. 00:49:29.900 --> 00:49:31.902 What was the point in trying to stay alive? 00:49:31.902 --> 00:49:34.638 My only thought was suicide. 00:49:34.638 --> 00:49:44.247 At that moment, one of the women whose job was to watch me, made me dismiss the idea of suicide. 00:49:44.281 --> 00:49:51.922 In the cold of winter, I was wearing padded cotton clothes, but still shivering. 00:49:51.922 --> 00:49:56.560 Without speaking, she put her own woolen jacket on me. 00:49:56.626 --> 00:50:02.299 A younger person said to her, "Sister, something bad will happen to you for doing that." 00:50:02.299 --> 00:50:08.305 Another said, "He's a bad guy, why are you being good to him?" 00:50:08.305 --> 00:50:16.113 That woman said, "In these times, who knows whether he is good or bad?" 00:50:16.113 --> 00:50:23.553 These ordinary words touched me deeply. 00:50:23.553 --> 00:50:28.325 In that situation, there was still someone who did not consider me a bad person. 00:50:28.325 --> 00:50:33.296 So, I just gritted my teeth and kept on living. 00:50:33.296 --> 00:50:35.332 I quit thinking of suicide. 00:50:35.332 --> 00:50:37.134 She is my savior.
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